I Know Winter Well

by Janna Leise

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03:03
3.
03:20
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02:20
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02:39
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02:45
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12.
04:59

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released June 5, 2015

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Janna Leise Münster, Germany

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Track Name: Lost In The River
I'd rather be lost in a river
Than to be lost in somebodys arms
I'd rather let them call me sinner
Than to drive in your car
In your car, in your car

They found some stuff in the river
Some stuff that belonged to me once
They found a unused map
That led to the things I never had.
I never had, I never had

And when they come close enough to see me
Oh I beg them to walk away
‘Cause I pray for a lot more than for a home
Where all I can do is stay
Stay, stay, stay, stay

I searched for a friend in the river
I didn't realize I was all alone
So on a Monday I drowned in the river
‘Cause nobody was able to bring me home.
Track Name: Saints
Let me be human tonight
Only in my head
Only for your eyes
Let me be human tonight
These manic prayers
Bring tears to my eyes

The air smells like metal.
I can’t tell if it’s blood or the sky.
We’re bound to be saints
At the gate of all gates
But I can’t feel your heartbeat.
I can’t feel your heartbeat.

Take my head away from me
Chop it off and set it free.
Thoughts run wild like calligraphy
Thoughts run wild like calligraphy

Let me be human tonight
These feelings are holy
These memories are mine
Let me be human tonight
You hold on to my darkness
I’ll hold on to your light

The air smells like metal.
I can’t tell if it’s your blood or if it's mine.
We’re bound to be saints
At the gate of all gates
But I can’t feel your heartbeat.
I can’t feel your heartbeat.

I can’t feel your heartbeat
I can’t feel your heartbeat
I can’t feel your heartbeat
I can’t feel your heartbeat
I can’t feel your heartbeat
I can’t feel your heartbeat
I can’t feel your heartbeat
I can’t feel your heartbeat

So let me be human tonight.
Track Name: Part 2
Tell me does it rain for me or does it rain for you?
I'm not looking for a shelter when I ask you this
So don't even think about putting my name on this damn list

‘Cause all my life I’ve been a fool
All my life I’ve been a fool
All my life I’ve been a fool
For people like you

You know lots of demons
And you keep sending them my way
I have nothing to say
Nothing is never enough
But for me it is too much

Cause all my life I’ve been a fool
All my life I’ve been a fool
All my life I’ve been a fool
For people like you

And I pray that you've lost your way on countless glades
The moonlit night it buys you time
But you do nothing else but shine

All my life I’ve been a fool
All my life I’ve been a fool
All my life I’ve been a fool
Just like you
Track Name: Thank You Chicago
Alone again and far from the road again.
My only thought is „How can I stay here?“
I've been pretending, that you are a friend.
This is not what I expected. This is not what I want.

‘Cause I read what there is to read
And I thought what there is to think.
So accept me, accept me.
Drown as long as there is water
And burn yourself as long as you can feel
But for now: Accept me.

But they felt nothing
We felt nothing
I felt nothing but hope

I wish I was deaf and I wish I was blind.
I need a taste of that wound and I won't let it close.
You don't stay here. That bruise is all I feel. It's all I keep from you.
And I'm not interested in healing.

‘Cause I read what there is to read
And I thought what there is to think.
So accept me, accept me.
Drown as long as there is water
And burn yourself as long as you can feel
But for now: Accept me.

But they felt nothing
We felt nothing
I felt nothing but hope
Track Name: Arms
Let's never forget I'm the sad one
and you are not
Let's never forget I'm the weak one
and you are not

I want arms

To hold me, to hit me, to wash and to fit me

I want arms

Let's never forget I'm the sad one
and you are not
Let's never forget I'm the weak one
and you are not

I want arms

To hold me, to hit me, to wash and to fit me
To hold me, to hit me, to wash and to fit me
Harmful or healing. Cruel or appealing
Harmful or healing. Cruel or appealing

I want arms
Track Name: Working Organs
How come that you are here?
And how come that I am not?
I’m only pretending to be anything but everything.
How come that your fingers never touch my wrist?

It is happening again
Time is not a friend of mine
We always sat at different tables
My hours they are running
They’re searching for something but they don’t know what it is

How come that I don’t know your middle name?
How come there are no windows in my walls?
How come my eyes don’t look like eyes anymore?
After you left them wanting more

More than love
More than hope
More than working organs
More than I could ever cope
More than I could ever cope
Track Name: Bobby
My head is burning. I despise you all
The pages keep turning
No tune can catch me when i fall
It hurts to see the sunset in someone else’s eyes
But the one thing you should know is: I'm just trying to stay alive

The air is filled with blossoms
My hands are filled with thorns
Some mouths are filled with heavenly words
That's just how it is but when I think of it
My fingers turn to fists

I see buildings, pigeons everywhere
Traces of your songs are tangled up in somebody’s hair
Pieces of me are buried somewhere near this town
And some of these pieces can sometimes see the clouds

The air is filled with blossoms
My hands are filled with thorns
Some mouths are filled with heavenly words
That's just how it is but when I think of it
My fingers turn to fists
Track Name: Deep Dark Red
It's 3 o'clock in the morning
The daylight is long gone
They're on their way to the water
‘Cause they damn what we’ve become

The water's cold and dirty
It's soaking through my skirt
And I can hear their wings now
They’re coming, have you heard?

I walk a little slower
To watch you disappear
And yes I see them coming
North wind beneath their wings

We’re old enough to be grateful now
For what has been and what’s to come
On this day 2 years from now
The earth will finally take me home

And all the trees are whispering
They’re whispering your name
Since you walked away from here
I haven’t heard them say it again

Your silence it transformed me
Into someone you once knew
Hold me sorrow, hold me close
For his eyes are all I see

Don’t be afraid of the water
It’s more to me than a means to an end
It won’t let me drown tonight
It’s just a pond that holds my hand

And I long to be done with love
By the light of the morning sun
The wilderness is getting wilder now
A million eyes are now my own

I’ll write to you until I’m nothing
And I hope you’ll love me then
What’s over isn’t over
It’ll start to grow again

Now please give them your silence
And walk these 3 long miles
I’d drink your words, I’d drink them all
I promise, I’ll be kind

This undefeatable agony
Will forever be my own
Now please write me your color
Mine is deep dark red
Track Name: Oh My Darling
Oh my darling I'm sorry that I always lie
Oh my darling please please find what I try to hide
Oh my darling send me forget-me-nots, always forget-me-nots, always.
Oh my darling and I'll be nicer than I want to be.

I won't be thinking of you always
You pay the price alone you say
Come closer now I won't push you away
You said that too many times you say

Oh my precious wounds, they they they hold me tight.
Oh my precious wounds, they they they hold me tight.

Oh my darling it's been a while since you've made me smile.
Oh my darling but I still want to stay up with you all night
Oh my darling it's like I only exist when you can see me with your own eyes.
Oh my darling I am honest, way too honest for a good life

I will be thinking of you always.
You pay the price alone you say
Come closer now I will push you away
Don't talk to me again you say

Oh my precious wounds, they they they hold me tight.
Oh my precious wounds, they they they hold me tight
.
Oh my darling won't you come closer to my heart?
I won't let you, I will fight, but please just try.
Track Name: Chaos
Chaos knocked on my door
And entered my room
It was so small
But it grew so fast
And I, I
Surrounded by walls
The sky is alarmed
She is dead and gone
And I am now free
She is dead and gone
And I am now free
Chaos entered my room
Chaos entered my head
Chaos entered my heart
Chaos made me fall apart
Track Name: Extending Scars
It'll take me months to recover from nothing
Nothing at all, nothing at all
It'll take me years to extend this scar
To make it noticeable

And I'm so awfully lonely
And I wish you would know me
And I wish your words could control me
Cause I'm so awfully lonely

Did you knew, I couldn’t throw salt into your wounds without bleeding too?!
And the hope for a dark dark night
Gives me the courage to analyze
Your words, your pride, your heart and your mind.

And I'm so awfully lonely
And I wish you would know me
And I wish your words could control me
Cause I'm so awfully lonely

I'm a church, I'm a boat,
I'm a river, I'm your hope,
I'm an arm chair, I'm a coat,
I'm a witness, I'm your load

And I'm so awfully lonely
I'm glad that you don't know me
I hate that your eyes control me
That's why I love to be so awfully lonely

Let your life be easy tonight
Don’t pretend to smile
Let your life be easy tonight
Don’t pretend to write
Let your life be easy tonight
These friends in the darkness, they’re right by your side
I’ll recognize you, I’ll recognize you
I’ll recognize you, I’ll recognize you, you , you
Let your life be easy tonight
Calm down. I’m right by your side.
I’ll recognize you, I’ll recognize you
I’ll recognize you, I’ll recognize you, you , you
Track Name: Menschmosaik
I don't want to leave this world without you
I want to stop using the word I too often
'Cause that's what they taught me in school
I don't want to greet the people I grew up with
I don't want to feel the need to talk to ghosts
There's a sadness in me that I can't let go of
It's there because I had to let go of you

And this will be all that is left of me
And I want you to know that I've loved you
And this will be all that is left of me
And I want you to know how much I adored you
And I don't want to be just a part of your mosaic
‘Cause I still feel
and I wait
I will wait

I know I will leave this world without you
It's a truth I'll never accept
And yes,.. I'll keep sending you letters
Without ever adding your address
All I want is to exist near you
But dreamland is as near as I can get

And this will be all that is left of me
And I want you to know that I've loved you
And this will be all that is left of me
And I want you to know how much I adored you
And I don't want to be just a part of your mosaic
Cause I still feel
and I wait
I will wait

And when I've left this world without you
Nobody will ever know
What kind of heart was beating in this chest
And how desperately it was trying to connect
I did not write this to show you my sorrow
I came here to close my eyes
Maybe obscurity will bring me some kind of closure
I hope it won't

And this will be all that is left of me
And I want you to know that I've love you
And this will be all that is left of me
And I want you to know how much I adore you
And I don't want to be just a part of your mosaic
Cause I still feel
and I wait
I will wait